Written By:Shonda-Renee' Porter
Many of us have to deal with unwanted behaviors, attitudes, and actions from our children. How do you handle it? No one gave us a book on how to raise a child, but no one said that we couldn't write one either. Although we are not presenting a book today, allow us to give you a few helpful pointers that can take away some unnecessary stress.
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#1-Pray
The Bible says that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. You need to develop a healthy prayer life. Prayer can cure anything. Prayer helps you to focus on a main point and simply relax as you let it all go. Imagine that when you pray you have a prayer bubble that appears over your head when you begin to reverence God. Everything that you need to “talk” (also known as pray) to God about gets put into that bubble. Let out all your cares into this bubble and as you say Amen, think of the bubble leaving you along with those cares. That bubble is now floating up to Heaven to beseech the ears of the Father through His son Jesus Christ .
The Bible says that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. You need to develop a healthy prayer life. Prayer can cure anything. Prayer helps you to focus on a main point and simply relax as you let it all go. Imagine that when you pray you have a prayer bubble that appears over your head when you begin to reverence God. Everything that you need to “talk” (also known as pray) to God about gets put into that bubble. Let out all your cares into this bubble and as you say Amen, think of the bubble leaving you along with those cares. That bubble is now floating up to Heaven to beseech the ears of the Father through His son Jesus Christ .
#2-Be Aware
Don’t simply expect your child to be mature enough and trained enough to follow directions and not push you to your limit. Be aware of normal childhood behaviors and developmental growth based on your child’s age. What you the parent may feel is inappropriate may actually be age appropriate behavior. We are guided by doctors and curiosity to track the developmental growth of our babies during our pregnancy. We learn what to expect from doctors, family, friends, parents, literature, and internet sources. Why is it that as the child grows we tend to stray away from tracking growth and development, whether it be physical, or behavioral? Breathe, there are resources out there that will walk you through age appropriate developments for your infant, toddler, and adolescent. Maybe it’s time you stop thinking that your children are trying to push you to your limit. Have you ever considered expanding your limit. This can be done with out losing respect and control . Try it!
Don’t simply expect your child to be mature enough and trained enough to follow directions and not push you to your limit. Be aware of normal childhood behaviors and developmental growth based on your child’s age. What you the parent may feel is inappropriate may actually be age appropriate behavior. We are guided by doctors and curiosity to track the developmental growth of our babies during our pregnancy. We learn what to expect from doctors, family, friends, parents, literature, and internet sources. Why is it that as the child grows we tend to stray away from tracking growth and development, whether it be physical, or behavioral? Breathe, there are resources out there that will walk you through age appropriate developments for your infant, toddler, and adolescent. Maybe it’s time you stop thinking that your children are trying to push you to your limit. Have you ever considered expanding your limit. This can be done with out losing respect and control . Try it!
#3-Ask Questions
Respect your child enough to be considerate of their emotions. Get on your child’s level if they are younger or sit down with them if they are older and ask questions. It’s ok to ask them “are you angry? Why are you angry? Do you think this is a good choice? Could you have reacted a different way?” Make them think, allow them to talk, and you listen. Use this time to try and understand your child’s point while calmly explaining your expectations, rules, and reasons for making the decision that may have upset them. Anger isn't the only emotion, so make sure you ASK questions!
Respect your child enough to be considerate of their emotions. Get on your child’s level if they are younger or sit down with them if they are older and ask questions. It’s ok to ask them “are you angry? Why are you angry? Do you think this is a good choice? Could you have reacted a different way?” Make them think, allow them to talk, and you listen. Use this time to try and understand your child’s point while calmly explaining your expectations, rules, and reasons for making the decision that may have upset them. Anger isn't the only emotion, so make sure you ASK questions!
#4-Follow Through
As the parent, develop a plan for discipline and FOLLOW through with it. Don’t just punish your child. Explain to them why the punishment, grounding, or restriction is in affect so that they seriously think about what they did. Don’t give an unfair punishment if it is not needed. Sometimes we tend to abuse our parental authority and try to make the children miserable because we need a break. Don’t do that. Put yourself in their shoes and truly judge if the punishment is appropriate and will ultimately teach your child a valuable lesson.
As the parent, develop a plan for discipline and FOLLOW through with it. Don’t just punish your child. Explain to them why the punishment, grounding, or restriction is in affect so that they seriously think about what they did. Don’t give an unfair punishment if it is not needed. Sometimes we tend to abuse our parental authority and try to make the children miserable because we need a break. Don’t do that. Put yourself in their shoes and truly judge if the punishment is appropriate and will ultimately teach your child a valuable lesson.
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